Liz's list.

1) Customers who pry the doors open 20 minutes before the store officially opens and decide "it's ok to just shop around before the cashiers get in" and then get pissy when you ask them to leave. Seriously... How would you like it if you were hosting a dinner party and someone showed up a few hours early and let themselves in and made themselves at home while you were in the shower? SAME DAMN THING. You weren't ready for guests, neither are we... And there is NOTHING in the employee handbook that says I have to be nice to you before or after store hours. I have a knife, and I will cut you, bitch.

2) Stop farting in/nearby the floral department and think the flowers will cover up the odor. IT DOESN'T WORK! EVER!

3) Asking me the same question multiple times, even if it is phrased differently each time, will NOT magically make the answer change.

4) Customers who act like the employees are invisible unless/until they need to bitch or need assistance. Fuck you. I don't know how many times customers have looked RIGHT AT ME and damn near run me down with their shopping carts.

5) Drivers who brake to turn BEFORE flipping their turn signal on.

6) Drivers who speed up instead of moving over to the empty lane or just letting you in while merging onto the road.

7) People who "thank" you by handing you a "Jesus saves" pamphlet. Stop pimping your damn religion! I'm happy being a heathen!

8) On "dating": "No" is a perfectly acceptable answer to "Will you go out with me sometime?" or any variation of the intent... DON'T ASK WHY.

9) I don't care if your dog can fit in your purse, you still can't bring it in my store. If you're that afraid of leaving it in the car, DON'T TAKE YOUR PETS SHOPPING. Actually, DON'T TAKE YOUR PETS SHOPPING, PERIOD.

10) Stop leaving your garbage around the store... An employee would be much happier taking your garbage than finding it as a surprise later on... And stop spitting cherry pits onto the floor, store displays, floral buckets... No one wants to pick up something that's been in your mouth.

11) Accidents happen... If you spill/break/drop something or just make a mess in general FUCKING HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL SOMEONE.

12) You're in a public restroom... FLUSH THE GOD DAMNED TOILET. I don't need to walk into a surprise.

Thanks, Liz. -J